On Unexpected Social Anxieties

Rambling thoughts:

when you’re with another person, and you’re talking to them but you feel awkward, it’s because you don’t actually want to talk to them. You fear something, Your head is some place else, you’re tensing up, your blood pressure is rising, you’re pushing harder and harder against what and where you are.

Say, you’re reading something online in a library, and a person you know comes up to you and starts talking. You don’t want to talk but force yourself to stop reading and have some small talk with them because you THINK you MUST. (in actual fact you don’t, you’re just being a slave to your beliefs at this point)

then this awkward chat ensues, and it’s not particularly fun. Why? Because you’re focused on NOT wanting to be there, your head is SOMEWHERE ELSE. it’s some form of social anxiety rearing it’s head, one that manifests in a preference of reading this thing or doing that thing, rather than looking at and seeing that human being in front of you. (actually, that person in front of you is a window/mirror into an infinite world) But that’s a topic for another day.

So what do you do at this point? it’s a BIG jump to be definitively interested in that other person straight away, so you can stay focused on what you were doing before – indulging in some information or activity. Talk to that person about what you were doing, engage them on THAT level, and let it be NATURAL. You’re being yourself, share what you’re focused on at the moment. That’s actually probably what’s most beneficial and fun in any social situation. Aaand problem solved. 

 

tldr: When interacting with another, just be yourself, share what you’re focused on at the moment. If it involves them, so be it. If it doesn’t, so be it.

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